I am writing with amazing news. I am feeling good again!! Mostly, my energy is back. I ran three and a half miles this morning. More dramatically, I can walk up the stairs without needing to catch my breath. Having my energy back makes me incredibly happy and grateful.

There was a moment when I was feeling really low a few weeks ago, physically and emotionally drained. I tried reminding myself that everything passes, that this would pass and change. But then I thought, ugh, that means the times that feel good pass, too. That felt like awful news then, but you know, it’s OK with me now. The sun is out and my mood is up. Even if that’s temporary. On Monday I went for a run and had an idea for writing, and I came home and wrote a 15 page essay that I’m excited about! It’s wild to be getting to know my creativity more, seeing how closely correlated it is to my energy.

I’m also excited about going dancing this weekend. And not just any dancing — dancing for a cause. Movement Voter Project is doing a dance-a-thon this Saturday to raise money for grassroots organizers doing movement building and voter turnout this election season. It’s one of the best ways to give money this election season, if you ask our biased household. (Burke is now working for MVP.) Anyway, if you, too, want to stop the rise of white nationalist fascism and you want to support amazing social justice organizations at the same time, you can sponsor me and give to MVP. (The dance for democracy is this Saturday in Seattle. You can also JOIN ME if you want!) I’ve put together a team, and we’re looking for team names, too. Feel free to submit your ideas.

Other updates. My hair is growing back — on my head and legs. Both feel so welcome. I am now almost two months into my hormone-suppression phase of treatment. I feel much more emotionally stable this month. Maybe my body is getting used to it. Maybe the acupuncture is helping. Maybe these pills to reduce hot flashes are helping me sleep through the night, and that is helping me feel better. Who knows. I am grateful.

A downside: Fucking capitalist medicine. I found out that my “co-insurance” for this drug that is supposed to help prevent cancer from returning is $500/month. I want to scream at someone, at anyone who defends our current health care system, that THIS IS WITH GOOD HEALTH INSURANCE!!! What about people who don’t have an extra $500 a month? Who are probably also the people who don’t have my “good” health insurance?!?! I looked at the bill, called multiple people at Swedish and Kaiser, and found out there is no way around it. In fact, some kind person in billing looked it up and found it would be marginally more expensive if I switched to Kaiser (which would, unfortunately, be more convenient.) All this means that if I want to take the drug with the highest probability of keeping the breast cancer from coming back (don’t worry, I will), it will be $500/month for five to seven years. It beyond enrages me that some people are choosing between Lupron and clothes for their kids, rent, books, ice cream. Anything. We could do so much better.

Off my soapbox, I’ll share one more piece of good news, related to my energy, to my wonderful friends, to finding my way into my new self. I taught my first yoga class in nearly a year. It felt so good. I love creating welcoming, mindful, playful, spiritual, body-positive community! I’m grateful to Susie for encouraging me to join her gym and sub for the yoga teacher, plus love from my former students who keep asking me gently when I’ll teach again. I’m going to sub again (this time hybrid, so friends from far away can join) a couple Monday mornings in May. Let me know if you want the link.

And thank you for reading. And for being willing to wait to celebrate being through the hardest parts until I was ready to celebrate. I am finally there. Not done, but feeling celebratory.